An Open Letter to the Writers of Open Letters

To Whom it May Concern,

I see your posts floating around my Facebook Newsfeed, normally from "friends" whose relationship to me I question. Maybe we talked once or twice at best, but we've seen each other enough to acknowledge one another's social media presence. Regardless of our friendship, you are an ever-present link, usually with a moody photo of a tanned white girl with beachy waves looking out into the horizon. Your piece is titled titled "An Open Letter to my Future Husband" or "An Open Letter to the Guy who Broke my Heart", or maybe "An Open Letter to the Guy I went on Two Dates with Before slowly Distancing Myself until we were Strangers, which was kind of awkward but I guess for the Best, you know?" 

To the writer of these clickbait letters: I do not care for your writing style, and I hate you just a little bit. 

Sorry, I can't see you anymore because my eyes are rolling into the back of my head.

You always write long paragraphs that wax poetic about an enigmatic persona. Someone any person can relate to, because it's vague and uses recycled emotion from the other 2000 versions of these letters. Its pacing is lazy and predictable, because you know this sentence will end with an abrupt, empty statement.

Followed by a short sentence to show how lovesick you are. 

I'm well aware that I am not the right audience for these "letters", but when you boil it down, your writing is the equivalent of a Minion meme. But instead of spreading weird, unfunny posts that moms everywhere adore for some reason, you're a long story meant to show off how moody and deep someone is to their peers. Why is this a thing that people look at and are like "YES, PERFECT". It really loses its sentiment when your letter is written in a cookie-cutter format.

YOU'RE A LESS DIGESTIBLE VERSION OF THIS CONTENT

The "Open Letter to the One I Love" format angers me to my core, because it's such a long groan of a sad blog post. We don't need any more of them, thnx.

For the love of animals, pass it on.

xoxo,
A Girl who Wrote an Open Letter just to show how ANNOYING THIS FORMAT IS.