I talk about my friends a lot

Are you ever going about your day to day life when you suddenly realize something about yourself. Maybe your friend points something out about you that you hadn't noticed before, and all of a sudden you're hyper aware of it. For instance, there was a time where I made a lot of How I Met Your Mother references, until my professor pointed it out in passing and from that point on I mentally tallied how many I made.

Like this one, right now, we're living it.

I realized recently that another one of the subjects I talk about a lot is my friends. "Aww, that's nice!", you think to yourself innocently. And I mean, it isn't a MEAN thing, but it's not necessarily the way to win people over either. The longer I think about it, the more I think of the kid from Magic School Bus who was always telling her classmates about how things were at her old school, despite the fact that she was on a literal Magic School Bus, and no one cared about her old school.

This isn't to say my friends aren't cool! All of my friends are cooler than me, it's basically a scientific fact that, if you're my friend, you are cooler than me on a multitude of levels. Probably the only skillset I have that trumps my friends skills is my ability to get over 40 "likes" on a cover photo of the solo jazz cup pattern, and that's not even a skill I can attribute to my own abilities so much as the millennial's inherent love of anything even slightly nostalgic. I have a friend who like, makes her own yarn by hand and then knits them into original sock patterns. Why WOULDN'T I mention that all the time? Probably because I talk about all my friends constantly, and after a while these anonymous people don't even seem real anymore.

SO AT THE END OF THE DAY, I just wanna say, talk about yourself and your life adventures more! Don't be like me, some girl whose conversations are usually about how much cooler her friends are. Because really, that's annoying and eventually my friends will catch on to the fact that I'm borrowing cool parts from the people I know instead of actually being cool. If you find yourself on a Magic School Bus, don't talk about your friends from the past. Mildly panic about the fact that you're on a Magic School Bus and question your overall sanity, because as far as I know, there is no such thing as a magic bus.

"More like a Magic School BUST!"

Fifteen Drafts

It's been over two months since I've last written a blog entry, and over those two months I've mused aloud about how I should write a new post. This is usually met with indifference, or, if you're my friends, support, because you're all too nice to tell me to stop writing. 

My biggest trouble though, is trying to figure out just what I should write. I think I started this blog wanting to tell stories about the past, but without being able to TELL the story it's a lot harder to write the tone I want it to convey. Right now, there are fifteen drafts in my queue. These are their titles:

1. School is Weird
2. Why can't my life just be a musical
3. I talk about my friends a lot
4. I live for this
5. (Untitled Post)
6. 2015 SGA President Speech
1. Maybe this doesn't count, sometimes I'll write things in my blog to trick myself into thinking it's not really work.
7. Graduation
8. Taking the Bus
9. Steak & Shake
10. Baking
11. NSAC
12. Epcot
13. Bicycles
14. Caffeine
15. Goodwill guy

Some of these drafts are from like, March, when I first started this blog, but they weren't deemed good enough so they just kind of sit in the draft queue, taunting me. Others were half-thoughts that weren't really enough to even tweet, so I'm not sure what my plan was on writing a full post about it. 

ANYWAY, maybe I'll write something about the show The Walking Dead next. I just powered through all the episodes to date and have literally no opinion on the show, so it will probably be a really bad post. 

Stay classy. 

Picture unrelated, but pretty cool.

Life Advice from Someone who doesn't have their Life Together.

Hey Party People,

I just wanted to say, if you're reading this, I really appreciate that you're reading my words!!!! Wow!!! Even when it's basically titled "THIS IS A WASTE OF EVERYONE'S TIME." 
Anyway, on with the painfully long blog post.

I've become a fan of pretending I'm an adult nowadays, and a part of this new life is being able to share words of wisdom. However, I do not have any words of wisdom whatsoever. Instead, I figured I'd list a bunch of things I think are helpful, in whatever order I happen to think of them in. I am not qualified to do this whatsoever.

1. When you're just chillin' out, maxin', relaxin' all cool, when suddenly you doubt your entire life, DON'T WORRY!! IT'S ALL GOING TO BE OKAY.
• I mean, generally speaking, this is true. 
• I can't say in every situation it'll be okay, but there have been way too many TIMESwhere I was all like, "Wow omg my life is OVER might as well live in my parents basement forever, and they don't even have a basement." Before realizing, wait nevermind it's already over, and now I'm eating cheese fries.
• Pretty much everytime I look back at something, I laugh at how silly it all was compared to how important it felt at the time. The way time works is that it's constantly moving forward (citation: the science), so in a few months whatever's bothering you will be well behind you, and you'll have had so many cool things happen in between. 
• For me it's probably eating really memorable food or getting cool outfits.
2. And if it's not going to be okay, STILL DON'T WORRY! I'll help you!!
• Or, I'll try my very hardest to help you, if you want me to.
• If you don't want me to help out, that's okay! I'm not really able to help people like a good 90% of the time, but I promise I'll give it my best shot. What's really important is that you ask for help!
• I know these sound obvious, but it's important to acknowledge asking for help is alright, and a perfectly respectable thing. I'm not saying to take advantage of it, but when you can't reach something, ask someone else to reach instead of trying to scale the shelf alone and knock everything over. I've been there, like, literally, and I broke a huge thing of pickles. It wasn't the best look.
3. Always have a "Power Dress" (or Power Outfit)
• But actually, a Power Dress. I don't care who you are, having a really awesome dress/outfit that makes you feel like you could PUNCH THE SUN is a necessary ensemble for your closet. 
• You're pretty much a superhero with a secret weapon if you have the right outfit, and people will notice.
4. Hard work generally pays off
• I think I'm kind of a workaholic. I like to have a lot on my plate, because it lets me know I'm doing SOMETHING to enrich my life. 
• The past 3 years of college has taught me that challenging yourself to be better usually results in being better. So go to the library and take books out, or watch tutorial videos, and work in the labs so much people inherently assume you'll be there. After a while it gets easier, and people will think you're pretty impressive with all your know-how in whatever it might be you've been doing.
5. But don't work so hard, that's like, not cool either.
• By this I mean remember to eat and sleep, and devote at least a couple FULL days to just watch Batman movies or the first Scooby Doo live-action movie on VHS on repeat. Like a respectable adult.
6. Practice cooking.
• I already wrote a blog post about how I normally cook, but look up recipes online or in cookbooks! Mainly because my method is more how to trick people into thinking you can cook, not a real method to practice cooking.
• One day, you'll be in a situation where you'll have to cook something (probably). Be prepared to BLOW EVERYONE AWAY with your competence in cooking. It's also a good way to show off via instagram.
7. Drink lots of water.
• I mean according to science you should drink water to stay alive.
• I also just really like ice water when it's in one of those tumbler cups with the straws.

This was a really long post, and most of it contradicts itself or is incredibly generic advice. But I think we overlook obvious answers sometimes. That's just my two cents.

Advice according to google images.

Don't trust clocks.

This morning, my alarm clock went off at the usual time (6:45, but I've set it so it's 15 minutes fast to trick myself into thinking I'm late). I was SUPER tired though, like, more tired than I would normally be in these situations, so I went back to sleep, where I had a really complex dream. I've written entire blog posts about dreams in the past, so I'll save you the details of this one.

Eventually around what my clock said 8:00, I decided it was sufficient time to wake up. And by that, I mean, I loafed around on the internet to slowly adjust into being awake. That's when I realized my alarm clock was actually an entire hour fast, so it was actually 7:00 AM, not 8. At least, that's what LITERALLY EVERY OTHER CLOCK IN MY HOUSE TOLD ME.

The thing is, when you set up a routine for yourself, there are certain truths that your brain has well-established. For example: Don't worry, the clock is only 15 minutes fast, so you have a little bit more time. When, early in the morning, you're suddenly hit with "THE CLOCK IS AN HOUR FAST, CHILL," there's literally no way to process that information. I sat in my apartment alone, really believing that all my clocks were wrong, and maybe I should start getting ready, but what is time anyway??

I proceeded to google daylight savings, because maybe there was a special summer edition this year that nobody told me about. That was not the case:

Mark your calendars, folks. Seriously, mark them.

I slowly began to accept the fact that my alarm clock was wrong, especially when I turned my phone on and it said the same thing as literally every other clock. So, yay! I have roughly an extra hour to get ready through my day. Although I feel like I'm forgetting something...

Oh that's right, I have an 8:30 meeting every Tuesday and it's now 7:45. Love it.

EXCEPT HEY THERE, PLOT TWIST, that meeting was cancelled. So now I'm just here, a half-hour early to work without any pressing work to do. So I decided to blog about it, because that's what productive millennials do these days, right?

Not gonna lie, I look forward to going back to Ringling where my life is over scheduled to a point that I never miss an hour of my day.

UPDATE: 

WHAT IS HAPPENING WHAT TIME IS IT?????

My Birthday is Tomorrow

Yesterday, my dad called me to remind me that SOMEONE'S birthday was coming up really soon!!!!!! It was his. His birthday is June 29th. He's been using this joke for exactly 21 years now.

But more importantly, let's talk about me. I mean that's why I have this blog. Entirely selfish reasons, because I am an entirely selfish person.

"Birthday Happy" #gooddesign

Right now at work I'm working on a deck about Millennials and the different segments within the Millennial lifestyle and values. It's weird to research on so much, considering I AM a Millennial. Also that's a weird word which most operating systems don't recognize when written in plural. Anyway, I recently read "YOUTH MODE: A REPORT ON FREEDOM", from a trend forecasting group, and it was pretty interesting.

Look out guys, this blog is getting intellectual. (not really, not at all actually, I just read sometimes)

The overarching concept behind the report was that targeting to specific age definitions is irrelevant, because the idea of "youth" is a lifestyle as apposed to a timeline when someone was born. The writing is airy and a little pretentious for my tastes, but the idea was cool so I figured I'd share it.

I guess I get it, I don't really FEEL like I'm growing up, or whatever the case may be. Because on part of me is like "YES! I'm a full-fledged adult! I did it!! Wow!" But the other part is like "I don't even have a driver's license, who do I think I am".

There was no purpose to this post, literally. I thought to myself, "Hey my birthday is tomorrow, I should blog about it!!" and it got a lot deeper than I anticipated. My friend told me something on his birthday that I found funny enough to share on facebook, and I'm going to repeat it here. Right now. Here it is:

"I feel like once you reach your mid 20's, your birthday is really just about surviving to the next one instead of actually celebrating anything" 

So, I guess I have that to look forward to.

IN SUMMATION: I want a coconut-scented candle for my birthday. And shoes. I'm a size 7.5. 

When I was in elementary school, I got an award for doing the best in Spanish Class.

I beat a girl who was bilingual and spoke Spanish at home. This was probably the peak in my life.

New blog posts coming soon, maybe.

Laser Tag is a Hollow Victory.

Over winter break last year, I went back home to New Jersey for the first time in a while. It was a lot of fun to see all of my friends, one of our goals being to do as many activities as we could during the month and a half I'd be in town.

We went to this arcade of sorts to drive Go-Karts, where I learned I was not very good at driving Go-Karts (although this wasn't a big surprise since I can't drive...) After playing a few games we decided to use our credits towards a game of Laser Tag, which apparently is really cool and exciting. I don't know, I think I've played laser tag once in my life when I was 10 years old and I just sort of hid in a haze of confusion. When you get in there, they show us a safety video (no running, don't hit people with the gun, etc.).Then we split off into two teams, one team being our group and the other team a birthday party of small children plus one dad, and one person from our group.

Let me tell you, laser tag is some stressful stuff. This one in particular was 2 floors, with fog and these tower things we were supposed to guard. In the frenzy of laser tag, getting shot by random children who are REALLY INTO THE GAME is kind of crazy. But we had hand-eye coordination and developed motor skills to our advantage, as well as the fact that we understood the objective of "shoot the towers" outweighing "shoot the enemy". We ended up winning by like, a lot. It was a good time, but considering the fact that we were all 20-somethings desperately clinging to the nostalgia of our youth, you could argue our victory wasn't a huge win for anyone involved.

It's weird to like, grow up. I mean don't misunderstand me, I definitely think I'm better off where I am now in comparison to the small child I was up against in laser tag who ran into a pole just for funsies. But...yeah. The future is now I guess, and I'm pretty sure I'm over laser tag.

Unless you're playing with Neil Patrick Harris

Play it cool.

This week, I started my new internship. I was really excited, it's a whole new place with new people and all new experiences! What a time to be alive.

The night before the first day, I was really nervous. We were scheduled to have an orientation of sorts, seeing as it's a bigger agency with more interns. The feeling of anticipation and excitement was almost nostalgic, it felt like the first day of classes. And first impressions on the first day are always important, not only to try to impress your supervisors, but also to seem like you're really cool to your peers/fellow interns, and not lame at all.

So here I am with the internal struggle of SOCIAL INTERACTIONS. As you read this, please note that this is basically how I handle my life every day only less dramatically and not really like this at all, only on certain occasions, really. I think there are three ways it could go down, more or less, with two extremes. In most circumstances, I am one of the two extremes with literally no space for middle grounds.

1. The "I AM SO EXCITED I MAY LITERALLY DIE"
• This is the one that I usually encounter. I get so hyped up on the adrenaline of a new _____, that I kind of forget how to function as a calm person.
• In retrospect, even I find myself annoying, but hopefully it's in that endearing, bubbly kind of way that you can slowly forget about as you get to know me better.
2. The (FOR SOME REASON, I'VE FORGOTTEN HOW TO SPEAK.)
• Other times, my nerves get in the way and I kind of just sit around and smile and fidget a lot. There's not really much more to say to these situations because they're just about awkward as I feel talking about them. Minus Points.
3. The "Oh, you know, just living life"
• I was talking to one of my friends and she told me that I just had to play it cool, to which I replied "i DoN'T KNOW IF I cAN??????" But this is the ideal state that you want to come into. Really nonchalant, excited in a way that doesn't seem like you're forcing it. Pretty much if you live your life this way, I think you're REALLY COOL and I aspire to be like you. 
• The danger of this one is playing it TOO cool, at which point you may come off as a bitch. But I mean, just don't be a mean person on top of the layer of nonchalance and you can generally avoid that misconception.

If you're reading this entry and happen to be a fellow intern, then I hope I fit in category 3 this week. And if you're relating more to categories 1 or 2, it's okay, we've all been there. Just you know, play it cool. My method is cracking really awkward or bad jokes and then laughing at them to convince everyone around you that you're funny. 

This was the first picture I found image searching "interns" on google.

My Name is Meghan, and I click on Banner Ads.

SO I study Advertising Design at the lovely Ringling College of Art and Design, and I guess you could say I'm a fan of good advertising. I'm also a fan of strong strategy, and if there's one thing I learned last year it's this: Millennials really hate banner ads. I can't remember the percentage exactly, but I was doing some research last year for media planning and it was something like...99.2% of Women 18-25 highly dislike banner ads. The average click-through rate of ads on Buzzfeed is a little more than 1%, which is nearly 25 times higher than the average click-through rate of normal banner ads. So basically, nobody clicks on them.

Except for me. I click on all of them.

I'm pretty sure I am that 0.00000000000000025% of the population who clicks on ads that are blatantly sponsored ads. And it's not like they're even good ones, it's not something innovative or well designed that really deserves clicking on it. It's usually this:

Like, literally every time

Or some variation. There was a period of months where I'd click on the same ad of the same dress every time, then remember that the page was a maternity clothing website, then get mad and do the same thing like a week later. It really messed up the targeting of the ads I got because it seemed like I was pregnant.

I'm not really sure what makes me click on them. Okay well it's probably the dresses. I really like dresses. All of the dresses. But like, even things NOT about clothes or nail polish (Freakin' Julep can see into my soul, I swear), I'll find myself clicking on them. Like "HMM I WONDER IF I NEED AN ARCHERY SET????" It feels counterintuitive since I  LITERALLY STUDY THIS, but hey... look at this dress.

If you need me I'll be online window shopping.

How to: Pack

When you're a rising senior in college, there's one thing you've really mastered: packing for the summer. And when I say mastered, I mean "learned how to do haphazardly at best." Here's my guide on how to pack, the extended version. The abridged version goes as follows:

1. Believe in yourself. 

The extended version requires a bit of strategy. The first step is to pick up everything from the floor. The second you pick it up, you either have to put it in the trash, pack it somewhere, or put it somewhere really inconvenient for you to sort out later. I usually put things on my bed. 

Now that everything is off the floor you can take a second to be like "wow this almost looks clean". Good job. The next part gets tedious. Sort your things through a series of piles.  It really depends on the individual on this one. For me, 90% of my stuff gets put into a trash/donation pile. The remainder should be packed in a box that shouldn't be opened once full. 

Once you've packed a box, don't forget to label the contents of the box somehow. Earlier today my friend Carrianne looked at me and said, "I packed my tape in a box, but I need the tape to finish packing. I forget which box it's packed in." Do not be Carrianne. 

After you're done packing that box up, get it out of the room you're cleaning up/packing. Basically, just push it into some other room, so the room you're in has visible progress. It'll keep you motivated to keep going. 

So once you've gotten this all down you should be finished packing. Here are some tips I've picked up, at least for keeping your room to dorm-regulations, as well as general packing tips. 

1. If you're using command hooks and the tape doesn't come off, heat it with a hairdryer and use floss/string to peel the tape off your wall. 
2. If the blue tacky stuff for posters is stuck on your walls, a hot washcloth and faith will get it cleaned.
3. When packing for short distances, forget spacebags. A trash bag with a vacuum and some quick reflexes is just as good. 
1. I mean I don't really use spacebags because they're expensive, but they will seal in the air forever compared to a trash bag that will last for a few days. I usually use the trash bags for flights.
4. Personal rule: If you haven't looked at/used it in at least 3 months, get rid of it. 

So there you have it. I personally like to wait to pack until the very last second and then through a burst of energy accomplish it all at once, leaving you with several hours to just wait with your packed things and think "yeah this worked this was fine", but it's up to you.

BONUS: I tried to find a video example of using trash bags to vacuum-seal your stuff. I succeeded:

But I also found a lot of videos of people vacuum-sealing themselves into trash bags. Don't do that that seems like a really poor decision.

Saying Goodbye.

Tomorrow, the class of 2014 will be graduating. I plan on volunteering at the event, even though the volunteer shirts are long-sleeved and it's supposed to be a high of 91°F tomorrow and I might actually, literally die.

My job tomorrow will be a "Front Entrance Outside Greeter", which means I'll be one of the first faces the lovely attendees of tomorrow's event sees, casually overheating in a green long sleeved-shirt. I've been practicing my enthusiastic greetings for about an hour, so I know I'll be really prepared to show the spirit of RCAD tomorrow. Right now it's something like "Hello welcome to THE THING GrADUATION OH GOD I'm gonna miss your SON/DAUGHTER/FAMILYMEMBER/FRIEND SO MUCH". So yeah, I'm working on it.

I've never been to a Ringling College Graduation, so I guess this will help prepare me for what to expect next year. I'm probably going to cry, because I'm very good at crying and will sometimes tear up due to making prolonged eye-contact with people. I don't know that's just something that's going to happen.

So to the Graduating Class of 2014: Don't go. I'll miss you all. 

Hahahaha, just kidding not really!!!!! Go out there and live your lives. Blog about it, and tell other people to read my blog as well. Also keep reading my blog. Also don't leave.

Okay, well. See you around.

Well that wasn't a good story at all

Things that make me nervous: Professional E-Mails

I won't deny this: I can be a bit of a panic sometimes. I have a tendency to overthink things a lot, and I'm usually a worst-case scenario kind of girl. In my defense, I've been in some pretty strange situations.

When I was little I had a very overactive imagination. I'd think to myself "What if the whole floor was just covered in bugs right now that'd be so scary hahaHAHA". And then my mom would find me perched on the highest thing I could climb freaking out about the concept of bugs being everywhere.

That was a weird tangent that's left me freaking out about bugs, when this post is supposed to be about e-mail etiquette, which literally always sets me in a panic. Is there a science for how to write e-mails? Let me just say, if someone wrote a guidebook on when and how to write a follow-up, they'd probably make a lot of money provided they're marketed properly.

Now of course it's different when you know the person, or the e-mails are casual and quick. My friend sent me a message of a file and I replied with "ya' beautiful". But when I get messages from like, potential internship opportunities, or professors, the pressure is on at a level beyond that of a surgeon. In this moment, I have to use my mind grapes to place words in an order that sounds like a casual professionalism. If you've read these blog posts you'll know I've got the casual down, but the professionalism not so much. 

"Should I address them by their first name? Or maybe I should go professional. How do I sign this e-mail? "Hugs and Butterfly Kisses" won't cut it in this situation. Oh god how long has it been since they sent this e-mail? When should I follow up? Do I follow up the follow up? Wait, should I thank them for thanking me for thanking them? WHY IS THIS HAPPENING." -Actual Thought Process when receiving emails.

This picture really speaks to me.

It's weird too because, I think in about 90% of the time, I would never speak with such careful consideration and maturity to whomever I'm writing to if it were in person. And they wouldn't speak to me this way either. Maybe one day I'll try speaking ONLY in professional follow-up tone, I bet I'd make a lot of friends that way.

I could probably write an entire paper on this topic. But not an e-mail.

On becoming a mermaid

When I was a kid, I always really liked swimming. My mom would laugh and call me her "little fish", saying if I stayed in the water too long I would end up growing gills and I'd never be able to leave the water. From that point on, it was my goal to grow up and turn into a mermaid. I'm pretty sure this is still a realistic goal.

This seemed to be perfectly rational, especially after watching the classic Disney Channel Original Movie The Thirteenth Year (1999) when I was six years old. If you're not familiar with this movie, get out right now because we clearly cannot be friends. I just told you this movie justified my childhood life goals.

BASICALLY, it's a heartwarming tale of a young boy whose mother was a mermaid, and for some reason (I think it was a cruel boater) she had to leave him on a buoy where a childless couple finds him and raises him as their own. That is, until he turns thirteen, where instead of hitting puberty things get weird and he turns into a mermaid instead.

My understanding of growing up.

So if you haven't seen the movie I really recommend you find it online and watch it. Dave Coulier (Uncle Joey from Full House) is the dad in the movie and a young boy turns into a mermaid like, what more can you ask for.

Now I realize this movie was a coming of age story where "becoming a mermaid" is an analogy for "becoming an adult" or at least, embracing the awkward life you start living around your thirteenth birthday. But at the time of the film's release, I was 100% certain this movie was a synopsis of what happens to adopted children when they turn 13. It all made sense, my mom was always saying this would happen when we went to the pool or the beach. She was preparing me for my destiny.

Now as I grew older I came to realize that no, I would not be a mermaid by my thirteenth year. The Disney channel had produced a cruel deception for aspiring mystical creatures everywhere. Now I'm left hoping that technology will catch up in the near future in order to make me a mermaid. Or a cyborg, I GUESS. 

Tips on Being an Adult: Cooking

I've reached a point in my life where I like to believe I make a very convincing adult. True, I was once at a Costco where the cheesecake sample lady told me I needed my parent's permission to take a sample last summer right after my 20th birthday, but in most circumstances I totally pull off being a mature adult.

STEP ONE: Convince people you're very good at cooking. 

When I was in high school, I really liked baking. Now baking is cute, but in order to be considered mature while baking you have to be like, REALLY good at baking. And that's not the goal here. The goal is to trick people into thinking "Hey, this girl is classy because she's good at making food" without actually having to put in any effort to it.  

The first thing you should do is cut up onions and mince garlic. You should do this even if you don't plan on using the onions or the garlic. It just smells so good that people will walk into the room and go "Oh what are you making? Smells good!!" They have no idea you have accomplished nothing.

Now that you've cut these onions and garlic, I would recommend cooking them, it gives the same effect as the first step, but adds the ambiance of a sizzling pan to the scene. Look at you go, ya lil' chef you.

After that, it relies on a lot of blind belief in yourself. I usually just saute a bunch of vegetables or add some form of protein, then make pasta or rice to go with it. Don't forget to season with a little bit of salt. If you're feeling dangerous throw a crazy spice in there as well, but be careful because that can really easily go wrong. People will be impressed literally 100% of the time.

TIPS ON COOKING:

I like watching shows on Food Network a lot when I have cable and realize I don't know what to watch that isn't on Netflix. One of those shows was called Worst Cooks in America, where Bobby Flay and Anne Burrell would take people who are really bad at cooking and make them really competent at cooking. For example, do not boil an entire chicken, because that won't work. Thanks Bobby Flay!!

Dream Team

But, there were a few episodes that I got quick tips that I use today. The most important one I think was flavor balance. It's like science: when you have something with a high base (like olive oil or butter), you should counterbalance it with something acidic (like vinegar, white wine, lemon juice etc.) If you're cooking and something seems wrong, just try adding a little bit of that and it usually fixes the problem.

My final tip for you is the most important one: put sriracha in everything you ever cook.  The Oatmeal did a post about sriracha rooster sauce that really speaks to me. Even if the people you're cooking for don't like spicy food, add like...a little bit in there. If you're using the flavor balance thing, it can count towards your acidic counterbalance.

This entry essentially reveals my greatest cooking secrets, but it's for the greater good.

So rev' up those fryers, cause I sure am hungry.

No caption necessary.

Blogging is like, really hard.

Blogs really freak me out man. I like, don't think I get them.

What is it people expect from blogs?

When I was thinking about making a blog a few weeks ago, I was like "Yeah this is totally a good idea. I have so many crazy stories that I can write about wow!!!" But now I have a bunch of draft posts just kind of sitting around staring at me like "What was your plan Meghan?"

Nailed it.

Writing is hard, dude. I like to think of myself as a pretty good writer...of facebook statuses. And hey, sit me down for a conversation and there's a really good chance that I'm also highly proficient at communicating through that channel of interaction as well. But writing blog posts? That's like a science that I clearly haven't mastered.

Maybe part of it is the fact that I'm not the biggest reader around. Which is to say, I don't really read at all. I've always been more of a T.V. show kind of person. Not movies, no, specifically television shows. I used to read when I was younger, but that was the usual reading that you'd either be required to do in school, or Harry Potter. I do like reading textbooks though, but for some reason nobody ever seems as excited as me about it.

The other day I was talking to a friend of mine, Jack, who is a writer. The conversation went as follows:

Me: Hey Jack! What are you up to?

Jack: Going to go finish reading my book on writing for comic books.

Me: Oh, are you writing a comic book??

Jack: No, I just want to know how to.

I didn't even realize there were books specifically for writing comic books, but I mean I guess it makes sense? This entry kind of fell apart, but I opened with the fact that I don't know how to write so hopefully you'll forgive me. Maybe I should read a book about how to blog.

Perf.

Remember when your teachers told you cursive was going to be an extremely important life skill?

I still resent them for that.

New entries soon. Promise.

Dreams

Sometimes I have really intense dreams that stress me out. I remember when I was in elementary school, I had a dream that followed the plot of The Wild Thornberries where I was Eliza Thornberry and I failed to rescue an elephant, which was subsequently killed by poachers. I woke up sobbing.

During my accidental not-blogging nap, I had another one of those dreams. It was the kind of dream that, if I were Stephanie Meyer, I would write a novel out of. Which would then make me Nick from New Girl writing Z is for Zombie.  

Instant Classic

Back to the dream: before the dream started, it was opened with some sort of prompt as though I dreamt in a creative writing format. The main idea was that zombies were an analogy for racism a la Night of the Living Dead. Also, they were sentient, like in Warm Bodies. Also, I was a zombie.

So here I am in Zombie High school, only it's a very tolerant place that has been segregated from "humans and zombies", but we haven't been completely isolated from the humans. There's a basketball game coming up human team versus zombie team, and I'm trying to find my zombie boyfriend. Even as a zombie I'm still more successful in the relationship department in this dream. Go me.

My zombie boyfriend (he never had a name) is on the basketball team, so I find him before he goes out there on the court to do the sports that I'm totally knowledgeable about, telling him we need to "talk". We go and sit at a cafeteria table near all the humans, who looked like greasers for some reason but I'm really not going to question that because I'm still a zombie so you know let's give this dream the benefit of the doubt. 

I'm sitting with my zombie boyfriend, who mind you was still pretty handsome despite the fact that my dream rendition of being a zombie means you have some kind of crazy coral like thing growing on your face. I'm telling him how I'm scared about the future, because colleges aren't as cool about zombies as our high school is, so I don't think we really have any type of job security. Also, one day I'll be a mindless zombie with no control over myself, and it will happen sooner than it will for my boyfriend because I'm further along in the zombification process.That felt like an afterthought though, I was definitely  more concerned about job security.

Now I imagine his response was very heartfelt despite the feeling of doubt it left me with, but I can't really remember what he said. One part of that is because it was a dream, so I mean the entire thing wasn't real, but also the weird coral barnacle things growing on him covered his mouth so his entire speech was slurred.

After that things got weird, I ran away to isolate myself from everyone and moved into an abandoned house. Then a talking pig climbed through my window and he was going to teach me about hunting. I don't really know if that would make it into the cut of my novel, but I'll put it out there.

So there's my dream. It was pretty dramatic, especially considering how light-comedy I like to try to keep my life. I've read one-off dreams don't mean anything, it's recurring dreams that you should interpret, but maybe one day I'll look back at this dream and be like "SO THAT'S WHAT THAT MEANT." 

I started writing a post, and then I took a two hour nap.

I can tell this will be a very successful blog.

The First Post (AKA: 'SUP?)

I literally just made this blog about five minutes ago, and I already have three pageviews. I can only imagine these are all other Meghan Coles in the world, trying to see if the domain name is open. To which I say, hello Meghan Cole. Sorry I took your URL.

I've always been told I'm a pretty good storyteller, or I should write a book, or have a TV show. That feels like a lot of effort though, since I can just tell you the story of my life. Also publishing a book sounds really complicated and I can't imagine many people would be interested in reading an entire printed thing about me, like come on what really have I accomplished that garners a book deal. I am pretty convinced that my life does, in fact, play out like a sitcom though. 

So here it is: the master blog of my life. A combination of my favorite stories, maybe some quotes that I've thought were funny, and maybe something like a really cool youtube video that's unrelated to everything else. I welcome you guys to stick around and read it, but forreals you don't have to because I'm pretty sure I'm not as interesting as people like to believe.

Do you sign the ends of blog posts? I'm going to for this one, because it feels like a very official thing to do.

Hugs and Butterfly Kisses,

Meghan